When you become a mom life changes, love changes, you change. And it is from that perspective, as a mom and woman, that I write about trav'lin (not so) light through life. Literally and figuratively.
The end leaves room for the beginning of new. New moments, new songs, new people, new words, new places, new colors and new adventures. This past year has been a year of many endings and beginnings. New people that left their mark on me. Or new moments with old friends. Each in their unique way making me a better person. Thank you.
It's about 2 years ago now that I posted this on Instagram. I had an emotionally rough year. Broke up with my fiancé, whom I had been with for 8 years. Had a movie-like romance with a colleague (I know, cliché right?!), which also ended and left me scarred and broken hearted (even though we are still very good friends today). But it was also a year in which I learned a lot about myself and my friends. I think all of it changed me for the better. Maybe even prepared me for what was still left to come. But when I look back I mainly feel like I was still so incredibly ignorant.
Even though I felt like all that chaos and self reflection happened for the greater good, I could no longer find peace in the life I had. I wanted to start over. Somewhere where everything and everyone would be 'new'. A different city in a different country. I had already been to London a few times. Every time I would step out of that train in St. Pancras station and see that big clock high in the ridge of the roof, it felt like coming home. So I started looking for a job in London. And as if fate had a hand in it, I found one very quickly. Shortly after that I quit my job in Belgium, sold my car and other belongings and packet only one big suitcase to take with me. It felt very liberating to sell most of my things and 'travel light'.
Before I knew it it was April and I was standing on an almost empty train platform in Antwerp with tears in my eyes. Waiting for my train to Brussels, my stopover to London. I was doing my best not to cry. But of course I did cry. I think I cried for a week. Leaving everyone and everything you know behind is not something you do lightly. Unless you are a robot (and not one from Westworld). I knew being homesick would just be temporary, but that doesn't make it less real. I doubted my decision several times. Was I being too extreme? Was this 'adventure' really going to make my life better? But after a short while I started getting into the routines of the new life. And it didn't take all too long before I fell in love again. Big time. I still am.
And then, very unexpected, after only 2 months of dating the guy, I found out I was pregnant. The world stopped. Total chaos returned. My life would never be the same again. But as I said before, "the end leaves room for the beginning of new". And so ... a new life began.