When you become a mom life changes, love changes, you change. And it is from that perspective, as a mom and woman, that I write about trav'lin (not so) light through life. Literally and figuratively.
With a lot of people having burnouts due to the pressure put upon us by the rush of life, ‘me-time’ has become a hot topic. Although what a lot of people refer to is more like ‘escape-from-life-time’. We want to escape because the constant pressure of having to be a ‘successful person’ makes us tired. Even the thought of being that ‘successful’ person already makes me exhausted before even starting the quest. Specially as a mom the pressure is high. We have to be the queen of multitasking and the ruler of productivity. Even though research tells us that multitasking (if there is even such thing) works counter productive and being productive all the time makes us unhappy. And it’s true, when I cook while at the same time trying to play with my son or do some design work, none of it gets done any quicker. And for sure nothing gets done better. Chances are high that I forget to put chicken in my Chicken Curry and my son gets frustrated because I’m not ‘really’ there. So I say “bye bye multitasking, hello qualitytasking”.
There have been many days where I tried to work while taking care of my son and the house throughout the day. Those days were always very long and frustrating. Often my partner would come home to a house that looks like it has been turned upside down and everyone has “storm” written on their forehead. Which basically means that I spend the whole day ‘trying’, but didn’t really succeed in anything. At the end of a day like that I would be screaming for me-time. Even if that me-time was just locking myself in the bathroom and shaving my legs.
Today I don’t feel the need for that ‘escape-from-life-time’. Why? Because I chose to cut my day in big chunks of ‘quality’ time. It’s not more productive. My day isn’t any shorter. But I do feel so much more relaxed and happy. I spend the biggest part of my day playing and taking care of my son (which was so much more enjoyable for both of us). We did a few house shores together and I cooked while he was napping. But only after he went to bed I quickly did the rest of the shores and started working. I am still very very tired, because after all it was still a long day, but I feel so much happier. I achieved all my day goals one by one. I can now go to bed without still having an unfinished to-do list in my head and most importantly, knowing that I made other people happy today with my undivided attention and good vibes.
Having some spare time for some me-time would be nice, but not necessary. It’s a ‘nice to have’ and not a must have. Not for me at least. If I have to sacrifice that time so that I have more quality in life you can hardly call it a sacrifice. So I’ll happily make that sacrifice that isn’t a sacrifice and choose quality time over me-time. Or maybe quality time is my kind of me-time.